We often hold our breath, thinking that once we achieve a certain goal, we’ll finally be able to exhale, relax, and be happy… But once we get there, the high only lasts for a short while, and soon enough, we’re back to how we felt before the achievement. The happiness only lasted for a short term.
So, we set our focus on the next cup to win. We achieve it, feel a burst of joy, and then return to our normal state. We begin to wonder and plan for the next high, hoping this time it will last.
We see our friends buying new cars, getting married, climbing the corporate ladder, we think, “If only I could achieve these things, then I’ll be happy”. We chase, we get them, we enjoy it for a while, but over time the feeling fades. And once again, we find ourselves chasing the next bliss. It becomes a vicious cycle.
This is what’s known as the Hedonic Treadmill or Hedonic Adaptation, the psychological phenomenon where, after a positive experience, our level of happiness temporarily increases, then returns back to our normal state of how we were before the experience.
We chase external happiness, believing external rewards will bring us lasting joy. Unfortunately, the high fades after we receive our external rewards and we’re right back on the treadmill, running again, chasing another high.
—
We need to stop chasing the next high pleasure. Instead, focus and learn to embrace where we are, even as we climb to the top. Be grateful. Be present. Always see abundance wherever you are. Let go of the “grass is always greener on the other side” mentality.
Rather than rushing to the next goal, learn to enjoy the moment, take time to smell the flowers, watch the sunset, witness your loved ones grow, savour your food, appreciate the gift and goals you’ve just attained.
Practice being in the present. Live in the now, not in the future or the past. Set meaningful goals, not just those that promise a temporary thrill.
Chase goals that fulfill you, not just excites you. Focus on the process. The journey shapes, grows, and grounds us. Stop placing so much importance on extrinsic pleasures like money, status or fame infatuation, they are fleeting. Eventually, we get bored of them and return to the treadmill, looking for the next high.
Reflect on what are your triggers, is it peer pressure? Social media? What drives you to chase? Spend time asking yourselves these questions. Unfollow accounts on social media if needed, invest time with friends who let you be your authentic self.
Prioritize friendships and relationships, that builds and keep you grounded,
Invest time in your community and loved ones, this can bring lasting joy.
Celebrate the little things, not just the highs and peaks: like waking up each day, your health, the ability to move, a roof over your head, the list is endless. Often, it’s the little things that gives us the most joy.
—
The joy is truly in the journey, not in the end goal or the next best thing. Life becomes more meaningful and joyful when we change our perception. Only then can we stop running endlessly, chasing the next fleeting bliss.
—
What is Celibacy? Celibacy is a choice…sometimes for a season,sometimes for a lifetime. It is not just saying no to sex,but saying yes to space,to healing, to clarity. For some, it means no intimacy at all.For others, it’s simply a pause from intercourse.The shape differs,but the heart of celibacy is
For the past two weeks, we have been exploring adult bullying, an uncomfortable reality that too often hides in plain sight. Unlike childhood bullying, it is subtler, disguised in sarcasm, exclusion, gossip, or the misuse of authority. Yet, its effect can be deep-wounding. At its core, bullying is: A repeated
Last week, we discussed adult bullying, how it doesn’t end in the playground. Those childhood bullies who never changed their ways grow into adult bullies, hunting for prey in workplaces, marriages, families, businesses, and even on the internet. To recap, bullying can be referred to as: Repeated hurtful or hostile