Adult Bullying: The Wounds We Don’t Talk About

workplace-bullying

Last week, we discussed adult bullying, how it doesn’t end in the playground. Those childhood bullies who never changed their ways grow into adult bullies, hunting for prey in workplaces, marriages, families, businesses, and even on the internet.

To recap, bullying can be referred to as:

  • Repeated hurtful or hostile actions.
  • Intentional mistreatment or control of another (or a group) who holds less power.
  • Carried out verbally or non-verbally.
  • And most importantly, it erodes a person’s sense of self-worth.

(If you missed last week’s post, click here for Part 1.)

Today, let’s go deeper into how bullying affects our lives:

  1. Higher risk of depression and anxiety: For many, the workplace has become the new playground for adult bullies. They berate others, steal credit, exclude, mock, threaten, sabotage, set impossible deadlines, and strip away responsibilities while piling on trivial tasks. The result? Burnout, constant worry, stress, and resentment. Employees walk on eggshells, waiting for the next curveball, a breeding ground for depression and anxiety.
  1. Lack of confidence and self-esteem issues: Verbal bullying eats away at self-image. Words may not bruise the skin, but they cut deep into the soul. Over time, they create emotional scars that lead to low confidence and damaged self-esteem. Think of a partner who nags, constantly puts you down, or a spouse projecting their insecurities with snide remarks that chip away at your sense of worth. The injury is real and lingers.
  1. Mental and physical health: When the emotional strength of a person is under constant attack, the body eventually follows. Bullying isn’t just “in your head.” It can manifest as post-traumatic stress, weakened immunity, stress headaches, high blood pressure, digestive issues, and even frequent ague. The body keeps the score.
  1. Increased thoughts of suicide: Helplessness breeds despair. Feeling powerless, traumatized, and disoriented, many victims spiral into hopelessness. In such moments, death may appear romanticized as the only escape. Suicidal thoughts creep in, and tragically, some act on them.
  1. Impact on company profits: Bullying doesn’t just harm individuals; it bleeds organizations. A bullied employee is less productive, committed, and more stressed. Morale drops, increased absenteeism, and turnover decline. Even bystanders suffer; witnessing bullying alone is enough to drive people out the door. The cost of replacing and retraining staff is immense, while the loss of creativity, collaboration, and synergy is priceless.
  1. Feelings of sadness and loneliness: Bullying isolates. At work, victims may withdraw, silenced by gossip, rumours, or outright exclusion. At home, they may feel too ashamed to confide in anyone. Judgment, betrayal, and mistrust deepen the loneliness, turning sadness into something heavy, sometimes unbearable.
  1. Changes in sleep patterns: Anxiety from bullying often follows sufferers into the night. Sunday evenings become torment: tossing, turning, dreading the week ahead. Even Fridays are bittersweet; relief comes, but only briefly. “Thank God it’s Friday” becomes less celebration, more survival chant. Sleep suffers alongside health and peace of mind.
  1. Changes in eating patterns and loss of interest: Stress can choke appetite and drain the joy of life. Social withdrawal becomes common. In extreme cases, victims seek comfort in alcohol or substances. Imagine spending the weekend fixated on your boss’s impossible deadline… knowing they’ll take credit anyway. The helplessness alone could make you sick.

Food for Thought

It’s high time to stand up to these adult bullies, whether they disguise themselves as bosses, managers, colleagues, trolls, spouses, siblings, or even customers. But here’s the harder question: who are they without the mask? Could it be me, you, or someone close? Have you only been a victim… or, perhaps unconsciously, a perpetrator too?

That’s a big question to sit with.

Join me next week as we explore practical ways to tackle adult bullying in our society.

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